Thursday, November 19, 2009

Wondering how this Fields got its name?

I've been wondering how this Fields got its name. It must have been Clark "Field's" since it is adjacent to the southern buffer park from the highway leading to the former military installation.

However, I fancy that it might have been aptly named after W. C. Fields, indeed a very funny and uncanny American comedian of old (1880-1946).

The Pinatubo aftermath and the night club diaspora from Manila under Lim has made it international, putting it back to life after the Americans, with hotels and restaurants mushrooming here and there. So now we get Euros, Swiss Francs, Pound Sterlings, Yens, Wons, etc., making everything quite sky-high expensive (from tricycle rides to housing). On the positive side we get international cuisine and alcohol. I just love dem dar expensive Austrian Schnapps, German weissbier, French wine and Irish Guiness.

This Fields Street (Avenue is an overstatement) does seem to make Angeles City quiet "angel-less", as have been pronounced by American servicemen. The "notoriety" lives on with the new clientele and hosts.

If one can't be a monk here, one's gotta wear protection, considering that its literally a one-way street. Welcome and be of the Best of Health!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Story alone at Fields Avenue

How to write a blog entry about a place that has such an awful reputation as Angeles City in the Philippines? The place is possibly the sex capital of the world, with between 10.000 and 20.000 prostitutes selling their bodies every night. During the time of the U.S. airbase here, as many as 100.000 working girls were offering their services. I had a morning flight the next day from Clark airport just outside of Angeles, and decided to spend the night here instead of crazy Manila and see this place for myself.

I soon realised that accommodation in Angeles is definitely not geared towards backpackers, and after walking around for an hour in the afternoon heat with my backpack looking for an affordable place to crash I finally had to admit defeat. In the end I settled for a hotel far away from the "action", and spent the remaining afternoon enjoying the free wireless Internet by the pool writing the beginning of this blog entry.

And no, before anybody here gets any wrong ideas, I did quite easily resist the temptation all around me, though I do admit that I was curious and went

Bored prostitutes inside one of the countless bars

down to the red light district later in the evening. The main road is called Fields Avenue and is pretty much back to back full of raunchy bars with inventive names like "Coyote Ugly", "Pony Tail" or "Dirty Duck". Young female promoters in short skirts, tight tops and high heels are standing around everywhere, attempting to lure lonely customers into their respective bars.

I went into a few of them, somehow feeling pretty nervous. The scene was roughly the same in all three that I visited: There were maybe 50 scarcely-dressed women in each of them, some of them dancing on stages, most of them looking extremely bored. As one fat American guy I chatted to explained to me they are referred to as "Guest Relation Officers", or GRO, not prostitutes. Funny. On the other side of the spectrum there were the old and/ or fat Caucasian men, clinging to their drinks, also looking bored, or chatting with some of the girls.

Interestingly, prostitution is officially illegal in the Philippines, but that doesn seem to bother anybody here. The guy I mentioned earlier explained the system to me: To get around this tiny legal problem, a customer doesn
Going home after a hard night's work - Deserted Fields Avenue in the morning

actually pay the girl directly for her services. Instead, you pay the bar the girl is working for to get her released early from her shift. This is called a "bar fine". The girl gets a cut from this money and whatever happens next is then the decision of two consenting adults. Quite a clever solution I would say.

Sitting in another bar having an overpriced mango juice I had to think of a movie I saw a while back. In the movie an NGO camera team went around a red light district somewhere in Asia asking the old men with their 20-year old prostitutes questions like "Hello sir, is this your daughter?". Great question, I love it!

I also wondered what impressions the Filipinos living and working here must get about foreigners. Or, on the other hand, what image does all this give foreigners about the Philippines? I can only assume that most of the girls working here do so out of pure desperation with few alternatives available to them in this impoverished country. Then again, it must also be a cultural thing somehow, as I have been to many poor countries here in Southeast Asia, where prostitution was at a minimum. I guess I will never get to the bottom of it, the issue seems just too complex to comprehend, especially by an outsider and foreigner like me.

In the same bar I asked the waitress how much she earns working there. Her salary is 90 pesos per day (by the way, a value meal at McDonalds costs more than what she earns in a day), plus tips if she is lucky. That is about one Euro and thirty cents for a nine hour shift. The dancers, who have to wear considerably less clothes and dance on the stages, get a bit more, 150 pesos a day, about 2 euros. If a girl goes home with a customer, she gets 600 pesos, roughly nine Euros. Most of the girls apparently send the money they earn home to their families, with many of them being single mothers working here to support their children. The waitress I talked to was 27 years old, had four children who are being raised by her parents, and an ex-husband who left her without giving her her any support for raising their children. She has never finished high school (her parents
"Dancers" wanted everywhere

had no money for that) and she told her family that she is working as domestic helper for a rich family near Manila. I am not sure, but I could imagine that this is a pretty typical story for many of the girls working here.

And to put the above figures into perspective: Before coming to Angeles about a year ago, the waitress I talked to used to work in a factory earning 800 pesos a month, about 12 Euros. This is roughly the amount of money I spent two days ago for a 30 minute boat ride to Taal Volcano and a few biscuits for my breakfast. Here in Angeles, she can make those 800 pesos in a single day if she manages to find a customer who wants to take her home for the night. But even if she only works as a waitress and assuming she gets no tips at all, she still makes about 2200 pesos a month, or 32 Euros, three times as much as she got in the factory. And if she is lucky and finds a customer regularly, she can earn a small fortune compared to her other (non-prostitution) options. Thus is the sad reality.
Not a pretty city by far whichever way you look at it

In the last bar I went to, aggressive girls kept coming up to my table asking if I would buy them a drink. As I gathered they get a commission for every drink a customers buys them. But having ventured far enough into this alien and sad world I soon took my leave and walked back to my hotel through the rainy evening, wondering how many other male foreigners were sleeping alone in their beds that night.

The next morning, I caught a jeepney for the 20 minute ride to Clark airport. It was time to leave the Philippines after three weeks, as my visa was running out. Unfortunately, Angeles was definitely not the best place to say farewell to this beautiful country with its wonderful people, but the contrast with this utterly depressing place made me realize what an amazing time I have had in the Philippines. I hope to be back one day.

Petition to Close The Red Light District of Fields Ave.

To: People of the World

This is a petition calling for the closure of the brutal and vile red light district in Fields ave, Angeles. As a citizen of Angeles with a family, i am disgusted and sickened by the human trafficking of women and children by organized crime syndicated in fields ave.

Our government stands by and does nothing while women and children every day and night are trafficked by brutal gangs of Australians, Americans and other foreign gangs to the thousands of Pedophile tourists that flock to Fields ave every year.

Filipinas are subject to this constant degradation and humiliation of our women and children and our corrupt government does nothing. The only thing the Philippine Government does is attack and abuse the charities and welfare agencies that are trying to expose the crimes of fields ave.
The government talks no action against the foreigners involved in the trafficking or the pedophile customers.

Its time to say enough is enough!

We the Filipino people want an end to these dirty , vile and disgusting bars in Fields ave that form for the most brutal prostitution trade the world has ever seen.

CLOSE THEM NOW!

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Dictionary of Obscure Sexual Terms

Angry Dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look like an angry dragon.

Arabian Goggles
A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye sockets while getting head. (Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but what the fuck else is new.

The Bait N' Tackle
The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!

Ballsacking
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread it out over her face like pizza dough.

Bear Claw
A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.

Beef Curtain
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.

Beer Dick
This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick.

Blumpy
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

The Bronco
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she desperately tries to buck you off.

Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while keeping your composure and piece of mind.

Brown Necktie
You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.

Brunski
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)

The Bullwinkle
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick. It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky." (Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)

Butter Face
When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.

The Canine Special
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!

The Carpet Cleaner
While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the carpet. Not recommended with large women.

The Chili Dog
When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty fuck her.

Chocolate Pizza
Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.

Cleveland Steamer
The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.

Cold Lunch
The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's performing fellatio.

The Concoction
First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.

The Compton Gangbang
You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend, but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand. When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help you out.)

Cop's Delight
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.

The Corkscrew
Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore through wood.

Corn
Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby, you're more Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"

Couch Bombing
When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch. You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need to buy It dinner first

Coyote
This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

Cum Dumpster
A quadriplegic whore.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch
The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of your most favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.

Daisy Chain
Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian or straight.

Davey Crockett
A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those cold winter nights.

Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

Dirty Swirly
While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.

Dog In A Bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

Donkey Punch
Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when you ejaculate.

Duct Tape Trick
Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the danger of a messy split.

Dutch Oven
Entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as well if you're into that sort of thing).

Dutch Treat
The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very messy.

DVDA
The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal". This is the term used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core porn industry norm.

The Electric Chair
Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky, so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause erectile dysfunction after performed.

Felching
A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens when one fag fucks another fag in the ass and then sucks the jizz out with a straw. Only included for those of you who are considering going to jail. *note: never seen it done with a straw...

The Fish Eye
From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motionsignaling that she has been there and done that.

Fish-Hook
When you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

The Fire Island
This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't believe you, doing it just to prove that you're that demented.

Flaming Amazon
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the flames with your jizz!

Flooding The Cave
Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside her. Applies to butt pirates as well.

The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself (without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move.

The Flying Dutchman
This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However, its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act, namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes causing interesting side effects.

The Fountain Of You
While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed)

Fur Ball
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair ball gets lodged into your throat.

Gobstopper
With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a big-ass loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.

Golden Shower
Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great for those who like watersports.

Greek
The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm saying) and gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed. E.g. "Hey guys, check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for the Greek salad

Ham And Cheese Sandwich
Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful, tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.

Hershey Highway
When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhea. Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend it's extra lube.

High Dive
The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's hole and in one motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use in the corn hole, but can be very dangerous.

The Hindenburg
When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh! The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.

Hogging
While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley. Best accomplished with large groups friends.

Hole In One
The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.

Hotdog In A Hallway
When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you're slinging a small dick.

Hot Karl
The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments earlier was balls deep in her can. Also known as ass-to-mouth, A2M and ATM.

Hot Karl Candy Cane
A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.

Hot Lunch
The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.

Hummer
The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums her favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.

The Hunter Gatherer
You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much self-explanatory.

The Indian Cock Burn
While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.

The Jedi Mind Trick
When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you, I'm NOT fucking you".

The Jelly Donut
Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears a resemblance to a jelly donut.

The Juanita Special Bean Dip
While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special" bean dip.

Kennebunkport Surprise
The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your partners legs while eating her out.

Kick-Fucking
The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in the ass.

The Landshark
The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall, legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out. (hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead square in the ass.

The Lorena Bobbit
Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.)

The Menthol
The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly feeling on your cock.

The Mellon Dive
Headbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of fun.

Monkey Wrench
When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and sucks you off.

Monroe Transfer
When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube. One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the rectum of the other.

The Moped
A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you know what I mean.

The Mork
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up her cunt. (Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a Nanoo-Nanoo!)

Moses
A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.

The Motorboat
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you forever.

Muff Teaser
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level, stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up with the selfish bitch again.

The Mung
Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.

Mushy Biscuit
This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it. Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.

New Jersey Meat-Hook
The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is most effective from behind.

New York Style Taco
Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on her box. Happy trails.

The Nixon
A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.

Oyster
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and letting the tramp munch on them.

Pasadena Mudslide
This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to the Cleveland Steamer.)

Pattycake
While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.

Paying The Rent
A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs ferociously.

Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich
Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been eating.)

Pearl Necklace
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever shit.

The Pig Roast
While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt road or the funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best friend's cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very Similar to Chinese Finger Cuffs.

Pink Glove
Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during sex. When you finally pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

The Pirate's Treasure
While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit. After you've found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream, "Argh!", like a pirate.

Plating
Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup. How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.

The Popcorn Trick
First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date. Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually offer some to your bitch. When she digs in, she will find nice surprise. Who doesn't love buttered popcorn?

Puerto Rican Fog Bank
While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog directly into her nostrils.

Purple Mushroom
This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.

Queef
A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing happens when air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or farting kind of a sound while that air is released.

The Ram
When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.

Rear Admiral
An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun watch her

To Avoid a Hangover, Drink Plenty (of Water)

"One of the biggest problems with avoiding and treating hangover is recognizing the misconceptions," said Dr. Marc Siegel, an internist and clinical professor of medicine at the New York University School of Medicine.

He believes the best remedy -- and preventive -- for a hangover is also the simplest: Drink lots of water.

"Remember, the main cause of hangover is dehydration -- alcohol is a really powerful diuretic, and people get much more dried out when they drink than they may realize," Siegel said. "So the most important thing to do -- before and after a hangover -- is to drink water."

Smart punters ideally alternate one glass of water for every drink consumed, providing their body with extra fluid to compensate for what's been lost. "Some kind of electrolyte solution, such as Gatorade, might be good, too," Siegel suggested.

And remember, what you imbibe may be as important as how much you imbibe when it comes to hangover.

"While all alcohol can cause hangover, wine tends to cause more headache," Siegel said. "Also any drink with lots of sugar in it -- that has a dehydrating effect separate from the alcohol."

Despite the best precautions, a hangover can still rear its aching head come sunrise. Siegel advised that, besides drinking copious amounts of water, the following remedies may help:

  • Coffee. A cup of java can cut headache, but watch out -- it's another diuretic, so don't refill that mug too often.
  • Analgesics. Again, moderation is the key. "They're good to use for headache, but Tylenol [acetaminophen] is toxic to the liver, like alcohol, while aspirin is toxic to the stomach -- again, like alcohol," Siegel said. A regular Tylenol or two is fine, but any more than that might be hazardous.
  • Exercise. A workout can be great for your circulation and might perk the body up, but it dehydrates, so be sensible about it.
  • Prickly pear cactus flower. "It's a new remedy on the market now, and it seems to soothe the stomach, but it's also another diuretic," Siegel added.

Then there are more dubious hangover "cures," some of which might do more harm than good:

  • Staying awake. There's a theory that keeping awake through the night somehow inhibits the buildup of toxins within the body. "That's a nice idea, but unfortunately it's never been proven," Siegel said.
  • Hair of the dog. Many swear by a nip of alcohol the morning after to take the edge off a hangover. "It can work, but it's a really poor treatment," Siegel said. "Ultimately, you're hangover is going to catch up with you later on, with even more dehydration and more toxins."
  • RU-21. This drug -- originally developed by the Russian KGB -- is designed to ward off a hangover even among those who drink heavily. "I'm not a fan of RU-21," Siegel said. The buildup of toxins "is a warning sign that we've drunk too much. Without it, you may drink more, get more inebriated, and do something like drive drunk."
  • Spicy meals. While some are hot on the idea that Kung-Pao chicken for lunch thwarts a hangover, spicy meals "may add to the problem," Siegel said. "They simply give your [gastrointestinal] tract another problem to deal with."

In the end, he said, the best way to treat hangover is to avoid getting one in the first place. That means pacing yourself when it comes to drinking, and consuming lots of water. "Water is great, too, because it flushes out the kidneys," Siegel said, "increasing the rate at which toxins are gotten rid of."

Why do they call it Fields Avenue?

Do they think it was named in honor of W. C. Fields?

You hear people say, “Fields Avenue” or simply “Fields” when they are referring to Field Avenue. Look around the Internet and you will find this is a common error even in print. It seems many businesses located on Field Avenue have perpetuated the error by listing their address as being on Fields Avenue (with the “s”).

Field Avenue was not named in honor of W. C. Fields or any other person with the name Fields. It started out as a road next to an army airfield and as was common practice it was named Field Avenue.

If you look at old maps or street signs you will find the spelling to be “Field” (without an “s”).

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